The Perfect-Poo

or sometimes referred to as an Immaculate-Movement or a Divine-Dump.

The Perfect-Poo cannot be planned, it just happens. Usually you don't realize you have passed a Perfect-Poo until
 after it happens.

It's all about timing because the build-up isn't necessarily urgent and yet somehow when you plant yourself on the throne all heaven releases, out of the blue, bang on queue the Perfect-Poo, named as such because it perfectly tapers at both ends and breaks so cleanly that when you wipe your bum afterward you wonder if you did a Poo at all

This can be doubly confusing when the Perfect-Poo morphs into a variation known as the Stealth-Shit-Poo.

This is when the Poo quickly maneuvers to the other side of the U-bend leaving no skid mark to prove its existence. When you look into the bowl you see no sign. Although not necessary, you wipe your clean arse and flush the toilet, but just for the benefit of those who know you went in for a crap.

I don't know about you but I always feel funny if I go to the toilet at somebody's place and I leave without flushing, especially when you're unfamiliar with the household mellow-the-yellow-flush-down-the-brown edicate.

The Perfect-Poo makes you think there is a God after all and leaves you with a great feeling of satisfaction and it's always nice to know that good things can actually happen to you.

There is never a bad time or place to do a Perfect-Poo but the absolute best place is at a strangers house where they could go to the loo straight after you and have no idea you have just had a dump.

The Perfect-Poo Poo and the Stealth-Shit-Poo are usually quite long, at least that's how it feels and in the case of the Stealth-Shit-Poo, it never ceases to amaze me how they always manage to get so cleanly around the U-bend.