The Haunted-Hole-Poo

Or the Ghost-Poo, whilst technically it is not really a Poo it does deserves a mention for it's potential to be a Poo... and it is like a haunted house - all the signs are there; the unnatural odor; you feel the presence but
 nothing manifests.


The Haunted-Hole-Poo starts as a slight nagging lower abdomen twisting kind of pain that you basically ignore because you think it's just wind.


When the pain increases you try to fart to relieve the pressure but you can't so you continue to ignore it. As the pain intensifies you try farting again but with more determination. These sort of farting attempts can really mess with your piles.


The pain doesn't shift, convincing you that Mr. Shit is at the door - so you head to the loo.


Strangely enough the action of sitting down opens the door and the Ghost-Poo passes through without warning. It gives you a little fright and makes you briefly clench your butt, one or two little ghosties may pass through when you relax again but generally speaking, the whole thing is a non event.


Variation: The Exorcism-Haunted-Hole-Poo is where you try to take control over the situation. Authoritatively you push as hard as you can. The whole thing almost becomes a spiritual experience and you discover muscles in your lower abdomen that you never thought you had…


As far as the Haunted-Hole-Poo goes, most people are true skeptics, not believing in Ghosts they tend to just sit there optimistically expecting the real-thing to just happen. But it never does. You enviably give up, mildly disillusioned, but you live to dump another way.