Size : Shape : Consistency : Color

In another life I worked as a Flooring Contractor...  and one time when I was replacing the carpet in two very long passage-ways of a Christchurch Geriatric Hospital... and when I went to use the toilet... and the only toilets available to me were the cubicles that were used by the Patients..
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...and, those who know, will know what I'm about to say... That's Right, the Size-Shape-Consistency-Color Chart or, the SSCCC (which kinda looks like a log I remember laying somewhere under a tree on a bush-walk in the Waitak's once, if ya blur your eyes when ya look at it, and imagine it to be a little more solid than it is, ssccc that is.)

Every cubicle had a SSCCC clipped to a clipboard and hanging on the back of the door. Most likely the Nurse would record the Patients' Name and the Size, the Consistency, Shape and the Color of the Poo, leaving a space for Comments and a box to fill in the Time and the Date.

Out-there man! There I was, early on the job and in the middle of my first constitution-sitting; on the toilet having a dump; reading the SSCCCs... and pissing myself laughing at the same time

Surely the Nurses could not take this job too seriously, and you'd think for certain that they themselves were having fun with their own words in describing their Patient's-Poo - as they did and I assume, still do.

The first time I saw the Chart I couldn't resist filling in my own observations, as listed at the end next to 'Carpet Layer.'
 

 
We have been doing it for as long as we have been doing it. Describing Poos that it and at the end of the day, if it makes ya laugh then it's gotta to be good for ya, huh.